Today I finished work, what a strange day; it started as usual with our regular Friday morning meeting which felt a bit weird, knowing that I wouldn’t hear the outcome of decisions being made about patients care left me feeling a bit out of it and disconnected from my colleagues.
It’s hard to describe how I feel – I’m so excited I can’t stop smiling, when we were driving to work I kept thinking this is the last time I do this for a year and it felt great. I seem to have spent years daydreaming about today and I’m going to make the most of it.
Work flat out for next few hours, Amanda tells me she is getting her pound of flesh and I don’t blame her! I have a few calls and cards from patients wishing me good luck which is really nice and I feel a bit choked.
I cleared my desk and removed all my photo’s from the wall, taking down The Serenity Prayer that I read every day felt a bit strange but I guess I will need it more over the next year than I ever did in our department so it’s going with me!
Then speak to a friend on the phone, knowing that I will be saying goodbye to them soon for a year feels really difficult and I try not to think about it too much, that’s the spirit I think to myself – be brave but I am worried about next week saying goodbye to all the people I love will be hard for me.
Lunchtime arrives and we all go out to the leisure centre – a bit of a treat as we usually eat in our offices in front of the computer and it makes a lovely change.
Jon tries to frighten me and regales us with scare stories of – I quote “Arse tap” and advises me on where to buy PVC pants in case of an upset tummy, (how pleasant- over a panini and chips) I tell him I will be going commando for a year to save on space and he completely redeems himself by paying for lunch for us all – hurray!
Back to the office and we have coffee and cakes, they’ve bought me a lovely necklace and as Amanda fastens it on for me I make up my mind to keep it on for the year to remind me of them all. I know that’s a good idea when she tells me that the moonstone is a talisman for travellers and the feminine stone.
Soon it’s the end of the afternoon and nearly time to go, I say goodbye to my workmates one by one, we are a small and close team of eight and I feel emotional as we all exchange hugs and they tell me to make sure I come back !
Lastly its just me and Amanda, my friend and more recently my manager, we have shared a lot over the last 6 years, we walk downstairs and both cry – it will be weird without her around, we spend a lot of time together and I will miss her a lot. She walks off to the carpark and I take one last look at the hospital before I go – see you in a year I think.